Salfords latest indoor performance bore a lot of likeness to the recent British weather. Bone chillingly relentless and spitefully unstoppable.

Stevo had decided to take the week off after his exertions two weeks prior in which he had ripped the crutch of his trousers. Luckily, I had an equally capable performer in Catty to cover up the gaping hole Stevo had left. Other than that we were unchanged, Rafa Benitez eat your heart out. Britney won the toss on my behalf and sensibly we decided to have a bat.

The weather itself had much to do with my late arrival. Getting from central London to Bletchingly via Horley, incorporating signal failures at Victoria and general wide spread chaos meant I arrived 15 minutes late for a 7pm start.

Britney and Brett opened in search of a similarly solid start as in our prior game. Unfortunately Brett was out early doors, the circumstance and mode of dismissal I am not familiar with, so I will use my creative talent and say he has out to a ball that swung 6 feet in the air, cut back off the pitch and flicked his box on the way to hitting the stumps. Brett, I hope your c*ck's ok.

Catty went in at 3 and as I arrived, we were going well at 41 off 4. As I padded up a further wicket fell as Peter was run out for what I presume was a well crafted 21. I wasn't quite ready, so Dave went in at 4. I'd had the honour and privilege of joining Dave and Stevo for an AFC Wimbledon game the weekend before. It was a great day, a 3-1 win to The Dons, including a double from star striker Johnnie Main, several cold beers and a bag of chips later proceedings took a delightful twist. Upon entering a pub Dave does not claim to be a 'regular' of, some interesting ladies were paid a few of our hard earned pound coins to dance around….. anyway, Dave has gone in at 4 and he (like his pound coins) did not hang about long. Correct me if I'm wrong Dave, but I think you were run out.

I went in at 5 with Catty well set. We were scoring at 10 an over and the bowling was mediocre. We continued to score well, tipping and running. I had also noticed they had a young lady in their team and I'm a big fan of girls playing cricket. They add a touch of glamour to what is a sport dominated by overweight men and their farts. After hitting a 6 and nearly repeating the dose next ball, I attempted a lofted drive which caught the ceiling, rebounded and I was run out.

PB was next in but was bowled soon after. The bail ricocheting into their wicketkeepers face. Catty saw us through to the end of the innings batting well on his way to 44, caught off the wall in the final over. I felt very confident with our 138 score.

Dave, as is customary, opened up and got us off to the best possible start. Their key wicket was always going to be Richard their opener who runs the indoor league. When Dave got him to play on in the first over, I was already feeling confident about securing a victory. Dave bowled his 3 overs on the spin for no more than 10-12 runs and with Catty and Brett supplying equally good back up we had them well behind the rate.

Combined with our solid bowling, our fielding was looking sharp. In what was a very calm fielding display, the bowlers pressure created run out chances. First Dave ran out their number 3, then I ran out their opener with a direct hit. It looked out to all of us, but the square leg umpire refrained from making the decision. Dr Speers probed him for an explanation and the square leg umpire informed him the bat was on the line when the bails were removed. On the line is out, so we informed the other umpire who gave him out. Doctors always ask the best questions.

Having them four down allowed me to turn my arm over again. The usual combination of wides, straight balls, yorkers and full tosses followed. No one really knows what's coming next but it keeps everyone entertained. It was during my 'spell' that the next wicket fell, it was another run out and the best of the bunch. A Catty direct hit from 20 yards. It was a great throw, similar to the run out Catty got at Nutfield last season….pure poetry.

Brett took a wicket cleaning up one of their tail enders with a yorker, which brought the girl to the crease. I'm not ashamed to say that I told him that if he didn't bowl full pace, I'd both fine him and call him a Nancy boy. In truth, I did neither as he's bigger than me. Big tough Brett did bowl slower and also very wide on one occasion, in fact the young lady played him out fairly easily. I wasn't having this, so decided that I'd lead from the front and mop up the tail myself. The forth ball of my over did the trick as I managed to get one straight. Any batsman would have struggled against such a beautiful delivery. I possibly over-celebrated.

After the customary hand shakes and giving the young lady a peck on the cheek for her efforts, we were left to reflect on what was another solid display. We'd improved from the previous week and I'm very happy with our bowling and fielding displays. Our batting is getting better but we will have a stiffer test next time when local pride is again at stake when we take on Nutfield. Having done the double over them last season, they will be keen for revenge and we can expect a bumper crowd for what will be another epic encounter.

Musky's Star ratings:

Musky (Cpt) 7 – A mixed bag. Late, run-out when well set, a decent run out and the prize wicket of the young lady. Becoming quite the all-rounder…cough.

Britney 7 – Same comments as last time. Set the innings up great with a tidy knock. My best fielder.

Brett 6 – No runs for the big man and bowled a decent spell. Nancy boy.

Catty 9* – In from the cold, 44 exceptional runs, a really good spell of bowling and a superb run out. Easily my star man.

Dave 8 – Bowled really well this week and picked up their prize wicket. First on the team sheet. Knows great pubs.

PB 6 – No runs for the unsung hero, kept tidily and always there with a Hi5 and a smile.